Manage the Boys’ Room – Part 2

How big is the universe?

I don’t know.

What creatures live in the deepest parts  of the ocean?

I don’t know.

Why was Stonehenge built?

I don’t know.

How can I teach a kid to want their room clean just for the sake of having it clean?

I don’t know.

But I sure wish I did.

My boys would leave their room in a constant state of disaster. It just doesn’t bother them that they have to step over toys and clothes and shoes and paper to get to their bed. They don’t mind sharing their bed with clothes and toys if it means they don’t have to put them away. They don’t mind going on long, drawn out treasure hunts to find their church shoes every Sunday morning.

And no amount of lecturing has changed that.

On their own they don’t really care if their room is clean. So instead of words and ideals, I give them reasons they can experience.

Cleaning their room is a once a day chore. It only has to be clean for one moment each day. Just long enough for me to do inspection. That means, beds are made, the toys are picked up, trash is taken out, and clothes are all put away. As soon as it is done and I have approved, they don’t have to do it again that day.

Once it is approved, certain privileges become available to them. They can play outside. They can play games. They can watch TV. They can draw, go play at the neighbor’s house, and do other ‘special’ activities.

I used to say that we couldn’t go anywhere until their room was clean. But all that did was punish me. It made it so that I couldn’t go grocery shopping until they were done. Going to family gatherings or concerts and the like was hard because we had to wait on them to finish up and we always showed up late and totally stressed out.

So I decided to associate their bedroom being clean with things that had no deadline.

They can play outside whenever. Watching TV, drawing, or playing at the neighbors house are easily done, or not done, throughout the day.

Now that I have one boy that goes to school and one that does not I have imposed a deadline to earn certain privileges.  If their room is clean and beds are made BEFORE school starts then they are allowed to watch TV, play on the Nintendo, and play at the neighbor’s house that day. If not, then those things don’t happen. But things like drawing or playing outside are fine whenever their room gets cleaned.

This creates a little extra motivation to get the bedroom tidied up earlier in the day rather than later.

It also eases my stress. I don’t mind if they decide to forgo watching TV because they don’t feel like cleaning their room one day. Whether they choose to clean their room or not, as mom, I win. I win because they either got their room clean, or I win because I didn’t let them sit and watch TV all day. 🙂

Once I have done inspection and given my approval on their room, I don’t check it again. I will go in to take down toys and put other toys back up in the closet when they ask, but that’s it. I try not to worry about it again until tomorrow.

I don’t think that I can ever force my kids to want to get their room clean just for the sake of having a clean room.

But I hope that by giving them other reasons to get it clean and by making it a daily chore, it will at least become a habit.

If the day ever does come that they clean their room just because they want it clean, you will find this mom doing a very happy victory dance. 🙂