The internet is one of the coolest things ever! I remember writing research papers in elementary school. I had to go to the actual library, look up books about my topic using the card catalog, write down everything I learned and all of my sources on index cards, and then try to get them all organized on paper.
By the time I had reached high school and college it was very different. I would record information and sources on my computer. I would still organize my thoughts on paper, but my research was almost solely on the internet.
And now, today, I do almost everything on my PHONE! Something small enough to fit in my pocket! I do research, I make notes and record quotes, organize thoughts and ideas, and communicate those with other people, all in places where I can sign in from anywhere and see them anytime. It is so simple and so accessible. And so AWESOME! 🙂
And SO distracting.
My phone is never far away. Any time I sit down in my house I have it with me and I usually log in to something, i.e. Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, etc… It is so easy for me to get sucked in and pass the time perusing the wonderful internet. And I ignore my kids.
I have noticed that my kids get really cranky and needy when I am distracted on my phone. And then I get really cranky, and we all enter a cycle that we can’t seem to break until we all go to sleep and reset for the next day.
Every day that I spend on the internet I lose a day with my kids. The internet can wait. But my kids won’t be little forever.
I still love the internet and I still peruse it often, but I am trying to only do it when my kids are asleep. And this is solving so many of my would-be ‘problems’.
The biggest one is guilt. Without fail, at the end of a day of surfing the web, I look around my house and at my children and feel guilt. The dishes have piled up, messes are spread throughout the house, meals are only half prepared, and my kids have been left without any encouragement or acknowledgement from me. I hate that feeling! That feeling of knowing that I could have spent my time better that day. But, when I wait until nap time or bed time to get on my phone or computer these things don’t happen. Messes don’t get so out of hand, meals are a little more put together, and the chance that the dishes got washed goes up. And I have time for my kids, even if it just means they did all those things with me.
On those internet days, the guilt leads me right into another ‘problem’.
Because I feel so horrible about how I spent my time that day I tend to take it out on my family at bedtime. I’m grouchy and I tend to snap at people. I just want to rush them all off to bed so that I can get back to whatever I was doing. No one wants to have a grumpy mom tuck them in at night. I miss out on all of the fun that can happen as the day comes to a close. But when I have spent my day with my family, and not the computer, I can be part of the fun. My kids have a lot more to tell me. It seems like they trust me more because I had time for them earlier. The hugs are sweeter and the ‘I love you’s have more meaning. The day might have been full of dishes, and laundry and diaper changes, and meals and everything else normal but my children know the difference when I really spent my day with them.
I’m not perfect at staying off the internet while my kids are awake, but I am definitely doing better. And the changes I am seeing are making it easier. My children are happier, but mostly, I am happier. The internet is AMAZING and it is such a huge blessing for good in my life. But it is NOT my life. Right now, my kids are my life.
And they are totally worth it! 🙂
I feel this way too!! It’s hard to find the balance at times but if you don’t you pay for it later. Thanks for the reminder!
Been in this place often, it has been quite a transition from our oldest to our youngest. Removing myself from foruns and groups and removing apps from my phone throughout the years. While freelancing from home I was constantly on my laptop, but have loved only using it every few days! I still hate when I fall down the rabbit-hole of mindless Internet hopping and become a snappy mom. :/ Good post, Hatch.
You are so sweet! Thank you. You and your family have been in my prayers. Hope you are all holding strong.
It is so true that when we spend time on things that take us away from our family, there is a price to be paid. Making a direct choice to not do those things, is not always easy, but it will always pay off in the relationships with family.
Oh, I can relate to this so well. It is amazing and frustrating how addicting a phone can be. I agree with you that putting down our phones solves so many family issues. The guilt goes away, the bad behaviors diminish, and more happiness and cleanliness are restored. Thank you so much for this post! A great reminder for myself 🙂
I don’t know who you wrote this for but you helped a brhteor out.
Keep on writing, great job!